The Cock Blocker

The night was awesome. Really awesome.

Dear male friend was on a stage for the first time in years, and I decided I could live vicariously through him for those 2 minutes and 45 seconds. I was even put on a guest list, cause I'm so fabulous and all.


The first band blew me away! Dear Male Friend didn't like the previous show of theirs we were at, and we left the club at 00:30. Yes, that's 00:30 on a Saturday night. Now, this blogger's hormones had been raging for well over a month, but we left and I took Dear Male Friend home, no problem, without having tried out any of my (very original) pick up lines.


Should Dear Male Friend and The Accomplice have advised, earlier in the evening, that they were hunting for a piece of ass (which, NOTE, I have no problem with) I would have made my own arrangements.


But first things first, we proceeded to the club (which was awesome), hooked up with "The Coolest Flatmates Ever" and a few pirates, all was going well. Then we watched the great apes. Who ROCKED!


Since hormones have been raging for a while, I decided to take Female half of The Coolest Flatmates Ever's advice, and just go talk to the guitarist who seemed single. Had a pick up line and EVERYTHING. Didn't work out, but then he was already quite inebriated. Had a chat, but I'm pretty sure I made absolutely no impression. But hey, that's the way the dice fell for me that night. Dear Male Friend and Accomplice would have you believe that they sat there, waiting in case something happened for me. Uhm... they were chatting to said LMG Awesome Dude. And each other... 


But I'm getting ahead of myself.


So after trying (and failing) to chat up someone 8 years my junior, The Coolest Flatmates Ever announced they were drunk and leaving. They even asked if I wanted to come home with them. I considered this, strongly. Despite having consumed quite an amount of alcohol, I still felt completely sober and felt like dancing. Enter Dear Male Friend and Accomplice, advising we should go to the Shack. For... ONE!!!! beer. This was at 2:30 on a Sunday morning.


I decided to go for the ONE!!!!! beer, and declined The Coolest Flatmates Ever's invitation.


We walked to the Shack, I actually jogged a few metres in my Gladiator sandals, as the evening was getting a little chilly, and I had planned to shake this bootie all night and therefore had no warm top. We arrive at the Shack. Its my round. All good. Dear Male Friend and Accomplice start chatting to the "cuties". One didn't make that much of an impression on me, accept for the nasal voice complaining about an ex (I think) to The Accomplice, while miss "I had a fight with a rivet gun" and Dear Male Friend proceeded to chat.


And there is RoseThorn. On a bench. Freezing. Actually shivering. And with no-one to chat to. Staring into space.


I suffered this in silence for approximately 45 minutes, struggling to keep my eyes open. Decided to try sitting inside at one of the tables, at least it would be warmer there. Proceeded to fall asleep at table and probably looked like the drunkest chick in the joint - still no-one tried their luck, still NO conversation with anyone. No dance floors, I would even have danced to fricking DISCO!!! to stay awake.


Went next door to Mercury, who had closed their doors, as it was now 3:45 on a Sunday morning.


Walked back to Dear Male Friend and Accomplice, told them I'm tired and would like to leave, to be told, "We will just finish this beer". I relented and sat back down, freezing my Not-so-tiny-ass off. They were in luck, I was happy for them. Would have taken the chicks home and recorded the videos for them if they asked.


In a last ditch attempt to stay awake, I deleted old smses off my cellphone. Yes - I was THAT bored.
And then.... The ACCOMPLICE walks out with another round of beers, laughing! Saying, "The bar man tripped and put these in my hands." And that was when I lost it.


Footstomping and clenched-teeth-speaking ensued. I was livid. I considered phoning The Ex (yes, that late at night) to ask if I could crash on his couch - it was walking distance. The Coolest Flatmates Ever would not have answered their phones at this time, I felt sure they were dead to the world. Mentioned to Dear Male Friend and Accomplice that I would take a taxi home, alone, when they come home they can phone me to wake me up, which was met with a loud protestation of "No, we'll go now, (insert nickname)" 


I was past believing this to be truth.


And of course, I have been hearing the name calling since Sunday morning, The Accomplice and Dear Male
Friend lamenting the fact that they did not wake up with "The too (two) young chicks" and thanking me, sarcastically. I've been taking it in my stride, though.


So, there is my side of the story. For what its worth, I would have slept in the fricking bathtub that night if they could have gotten lucky. But note to self, when a buddy finally rediscovers their libido after a break up, go our in your own car and DO NOT offer to be the designated driver. 


It could be a VERY late night with nothing but annoyance in it for you! 

Some of what I've learnt in the Metal Tiger year.

I have bitched and moaned most of this year, sorry everyone, and at the same time, thanks for listening.

I have learnt that hindsight being 20 20 is a blessing. If I had been offered my promotion at the beginning of this year, I would have declined. Its amazing what a bit of crap in your life can do for your confidence, eh?
As the metal tiger year of 2010 draws to a close (can we have a collective sigh of relief, please? and then confetti!!!) I am minded that, really, ultimately EVERYTHING happens for a reason. You can bitch and moan until you're hoarse, it ain't gonna change squat.

I have learnt that  sticking your head in the sand or ignoring the problem until it goes away, sometimes works. In the short term. Even though it feels REALLY good it ultimately comes back to bite you in the ass. When you've long forgotten about it. Like one of my clients phoning me yesterday. Tenant vacated in AUGUST already, and as their own children were returning from London and would occupy the property from January, I kind of (actually COMPLETELY) forgot about it. Enter Mrs X, phoning me yesterday, after 4 months, and telling me they would like to collect the keys on 1 January. Ummmmm, we are closed as its a public holiday? Am I sure I cannot make a plan and meet her at the property? Ummmmm, no, sorry. I plan the hangover of the (new) year, and I'm all the way out in the grammadoelas. And then it HIT me! There was maintenance to be taken care of. Sh1t!!!

Kept my cool, though, and remembered that she had said her husband would do the small handyman jobs.  And very carefully orchestrated the sentence to ask her if he HAD seen to everything and even offered to send her the number of a handyman we use regularly, should they need help over New Years. See? I was lucky. Don't stick your head in the sand.

To be honest though, at the moment I'm only fighting off the immediate danger. I don't know what is waiting to still become a problem. Probably a lot.

But the other thing I've learned, is don't try to be constantly in control. You CAN'T be, it is not possible. Down the road, crap is gonna happen, and you're gonna have to think on your feet.

But now, that no longer scares me . I will deal with it when it happens. And I know I'll make a success of it. Positive thinking - man, the ex would be SO PROUD! :)

2010 - you've taught me so much about myself. So, despite all the crap - thanks. If I hadn't been through what I've been through this year, I would not be writing here, I would not, FINALLY, be content with what I have and who I am, and I MOST certainly would NOT be perving over all the available and not-so-available men out there.

Life's good, for the first time in a long time. It is my watermelon, and I'm biting a huge chunk out of it, not even bothering to wipe my mouth after!

For the hell of it

So, the phrase "everyone else is doing it, why can't we?" comes to mind.

First blog, end of the year. Let's get right to it.

This year, officially, SUCKED!
Family drama aplenty.
Friends having a sh*tty time - check.
Work - bleh, spent most of the year working overtime (which did help with the financial-f*ck-up-of-note getting sorted) and that was about it.

For most of it, I've wanted to quietly go crawl into a hole, with about 6 boxes of Lindt chocolates, a few good books, and a certain male friend (whom I love dearly) popping around regularly with a box of wine and make me smile the occassional smile.

I have to thank mentioned dear male friend for listening to me lament my life for approximately ten months of this year and (mostly) not complaining about it.

Looking back now, though, I realise that, although I have been on the inside of emotional chaos, major progress inside myself was made. (Dr Phil would be so proud!)

Seriously, this year has made me stronger, more confident and, for the first time in my life, I realise that I am everything I need. I am calm and actually happy, for the first time in years. I have the bestest friends in the world. I will not settle again.

Work year is also ending with a promotion and substantial increase in income.

And I started writing again, the first time in 8 years.

See, even when your world is crashing down around you, you can draw the inspiration from that to write a song called Black Label Inspired Opus. With the most awesome musician-friends.

And life CAN still be good - you can find the silver lining, sometimes you just have to look bloody hard for it.

For hours. For days. For weeks.

Ok, you can stop throwing up, the sugarcoating is over, but I WILL admit - the rose-tinted glasses have been repaired. Bring on 2011 - I've decided it WILL be a good year!

P.S. on settling - yeah, I can't back that up - yet! Its a work in progress. Recently been eyeing boys for the first time again, and, well... keep watching the blog! mwahahahahaha!